Be True to Yourself - Public

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It Takes Courage to Be True to Yourself Have you ever found yourself making decisions or taking actions based on someone else's well being only to make that person and yourself miserable? Have you ever found your own right path and felt discouraged under the lash of someone else's criticism and judgment? Has the fear of making a mistake prevented you from taking any action at all? Me too!!! Twice in the past year, I took actions based on selfish, codependent motives. Both times those actions did not produce the desired results and for all intents and purposes looked like 'mistakes'. I paid over a thousand dollars for training in Lypossage, a massage therapy technique for body contouring. My intentions were to contribute in a big way to our household income by cashing in on women's obsession with their body image. Four months later, I have not had the first Lypossage client. Even before the Lypossage investment, I discussed having weddings at our farm. Again my intention was to increase our income as well as providing a beautiful site for weddings and receptions. To use our farm as a wedding/reception site, I had to have a zoning permit. The permit was denied by the zoning committee. It looked like I had made another 'mistake'. I've never been willing to label those actions of Lypossage training and wedding permits as mistakes. I know the value of my actions is not always reaching my desired goal. It is the process in between my desire and its attainment. Sometimes the value of my actions is simply practicing the courage of taking action in the face of unknown outcomes and learning from the consequences. Then I enrolled at the International Coaching Academy for certification in life coaching. Recent history would say this is another one of my hair brained ideas. I learned that I am ABSOLUTELY ON THE RIGHT PATH. There are those skeptics who would say that I am "throwing money away" on another one of my ideas with nothing to show for it. I heard my own truth come out of my own mouth as I was expressing my feelings about life coaching. For months I have been (praying) asking the Universe "What's in my hand? What are my gifts? What am I supposed to do?" My asking was no longer about increasing my income or making anyone else happy. My asking was about, "What is my higher purpose in life?" I knew that when that answer came, a life of joy is all that would await me.

So I started asking my friends, family and clients, "What do I do and what do I do best?" The answers mostly came in the form of "You've helped me do this or that . . . You've helped me see . . . I've benefited by now living a centered, awakened life . . . " One reply came in a more direct fashion. One friend said, "There's always the life coach idea we talked about. One of your strong suits is to see into a person and redirect their thinking in a positive way. Sort of like a jump start on the battery of life." When I had to defend my decision to invest in being certified in life coaching, I realized that I made the decision to pursue Life Coaching, not for economic reasons, but because I have been lead through asking (prayer) and meditation (listening) that this is what I'm supposed to do . It's not for our household budget, only my desire to work with others, my desire to be of service, my desire to be on my own right path and true to myself. My motive is selfish. I desire to work with others to help them grow and heal because every time I share in that healing, a little part of me heals. Every time I share in someone else's growth, a little part of me grows. Every time I have that experience, I am honored and energized; and, it becomes a validation that I truly am in alignment with all good things. It takes courage to choose what you believe in at all costs. Sometimes our agreements with other people get shaken up when we commit to our own path. Relationship structures can tremble under the vibration of changing energy just like buildings experiencing earthquakes. Some structures look like they will tremble and fall. Some do. Some structures tremble and yet, stand firm and strong. I must always choose myself. If I am taking actions for someone else's approval, I set myself up for rejection and disappointment. When I am taking actions from a place of inner guidance and alignment with my higher purpose, I feel joy, peace and happiness. It's risky business to commit to being true to yourself. Sometimes it feels like open heart surgery without the anesthesia. At other times, it feels like spears are thrust right into the center of me. AND, there are times when I feel indescribable relief, freedom and peace. There is a story in the Bible in the old Testament about Abraham and Isaac. (I'm not what you would call a Christian so this is not a quote, I am not going to look it up so if I am not accurate or wrong, please feel free to contact me.) Isaac was Abraham's son, whom Abraham loved and adored. God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son on the altar. Abraham suffered from mental and emotional anguish. He suffered great fear and terror at having to choose between his son whom he loved and his god whom he loved. Abraham chose God. He built the altar and became willing to sacrifice Isaac. He surrendered. He became willing to let go of the thing in his life that he was most afraid of losing.

When he surrendered, God intervened and Isaac was spared. Abraham did not have to sacrifice Isaac; all he had to do was surrender the fear of sacrificing him. I became willing to give up the one thing I feared losing the most for the sake of following my path. Every crazy, self defeating thing I've eve done in the past was motivated by that fear. I committed to doing what I had to do to be true to myself even if it meant breaking some agreements. Tears poured from my eyes and my body heaved with sobs but I did not take back my commitment. I surrendered. Then what? I did not lose the thing I feared losing the most. I just lost the fear. So I applaud and acknowledge you if you're asking, "What is my purpose? Why am I here?" It takes courage. It takes surrender. It takes self-love just to ask those questions! © Copyright 2008

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